Sometimes I look back at my life and think what I could have done differently. If I would have studied harder in school I could have a different career...if I would have paid more attention to friends maybe they would still be here...if I would have made my brother come to Carbondale he would still be alive...
I realize now that life is always going to be filled with the what ifs, but living our lives the way we have is what has brought us to the place we are, some good, some bad. Everyone is different. I had to go through what I had to go through to reach my moment of clarity, some people have to go through a whole lot more to find theirs and some people never find theirs at all.
I am inspired everyday by other peoples epiphanies, by their moment of clarity by their stories and disheartened by those who still don't get it. But, at the end of the day, life goes on. If you do the same thing the same way over and over you are not moving on, you are stuck.
Life is not about adrenaline followed by paranoia, life is about finding your own way. And sometimes I am down, sometimes I want to cry about the cards that I have been dealt, and thats ok, sometimes we need to rage, but, if I sit around and do nothing, I too am stuck.